


Signed, Sealed, Trashed (I'm Yours)

by wildlyfuriousdragon



Series: Return to Sender [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Amnesia, Confused!Jack, Consussion, Happy Ending, Jack the Angsty Canadian, Love Letters, M/M, Zimmermann Family GroupChat, again these tags are shit, he's lucky he's cute, he's so damn dramatic, the zimmermann charm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:03:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6737464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildlyfuriousdragon/pseuds/wildlyfuriousdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Our brains are like super-highways with like a million different roads and streets of varying importance. So in the event that a road (like a memory) is damaged your brain tries to fix it but doesn’t always have the materials to do so, so it may borrow information from somewhere else. More often than not though, your brain ‘conveniently’ reconstructs a memory with what you wanted to happen, or what you dreamed to have happened."</p><p>or </p><p>Jack is sure he is remembering Eric wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signed, Sealed, Trashed (I'm Yours)

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY ! Sorry it's a day late, I was dead last night/ this morning but the update is here. (2 more to go!!!!!!) 
> 
> Sorry if this seems a little OOC but I really tried to channel what Jack would say if NO ONE WAS AROUND. (It's a lot harder than it sounds but I hope y'all like it) 
> 
>  ANNND to all those thinking "It's 2016 why the hell are they writing letters?" Well a lot of people who suffer concussions have a hard time dealing with bright lights and computer/phone screens so our poor protagonist must communicate in this primitive way. 
> 
> If you want more Check Please feels and shit i'm at Tumblr @wildlyfuriousdragon 
> 
> UPDATE: Beta'd by the_boring_teacher
> 
> ALSO: I didn't write OMG Check Please, thank our good lord Ngozi for this blessing.

Dear Eric,

I finally got released from the hospital a couple of days ago. I guess I forgot that I live alone now- I’m always expecting someone to be talking or arguing whenever I walk into a room. I feel like the silence is worse than my actual concussion. I started listening to the StarTalk Radio podcast just to fill in the silence. (And I must say that Neil deGrasse Tyson is s’awesome). It’s amazing that since the dawn of time, no matter what the situation may have been (famine, tribal battles, etc.) we always found time to study the stars. Some historians speculate that the creation of things like  ~~fireworks~~ , lanterns, our fascination with fire, even our concepts of God, stem from our desire to understand space.

Right, this isn’t my thesis; this is a letter. Sorry, I  get sidetracked and confused these days.

Before I left the hospital they put me through a shit-ton of tests to make sure my mind hadn’t been seriously compromised. Then they made me talk to a psychologist  ~~and she actually made me feel worse~~  and she explained some things to me. She said that if there are things I can’t remember completely that it’s more than likely I never will. She also warned me about Memories of Convenience. It’s kind of complicated but this is how she explained it to me. Our brains are like super-highways with like a million different roads and streets of varying importance. So in the event that a road (like a memory) is damaged your brain tries to fix it but doesn’t always have the materials to do so, so it may borrow information from somewhere else. More often than not though, your brain ‘conveniently’ reconstructs a memory with what you wanted to happen, or what you dreamed to have happened.

 The worst thing about this whole Memory of Convenience is that most of the time you have REALLY good evidence to support whatever made up thing your brain comes up with. Like, Shitty and Lardo for example. When they came and visited to me my first reaction was ‘couple’ (they were quick to tell me that wasn’t the case), but I can remember so many times when they acted like nothing less. Between Shitty’s dibs, Lardo’s art show, and their general easiness around each other- it was a fair assumption. But since then I’ve been especially careful about what I say and who I say it to.  

And then there’s you Eric  ~~(Calling you that makes me sick and I don’t know why).~~ I really, really like you, but I KNOW you don't know that. 

I know that in a different world, a different universe, perhaps I would have become bold enough to tell you how I felt. You make me feel  ~~like a new man amazing clean~~ good; in way that hockey could NEVER. But I know myself. And I know I didn’t. I’ve never been that brave and just the thought of saying anything to you makes my heart race. In the highly likely event that I realize what I’m writing down and throw this letter away, I’ll probably never say anything ever.  ~~You’re going to move on and I’m going to force myself to smile while I silently fall apart the same way I did at every Winter Screw praying that you were matched with the worst guys so I’d get to talk to you all night because I'm selfish~~

I must be out of my mind to think that you would feel the same way back. I’ve been nothing but a teammate, a captain, and a complete asshole to you. Not to mention awkward and pre-occupied with hockey all the time.

But why do I think of you all the time? I mean, that’s not new, but some of the things that come to mind are too vivid for them to not be real. I’m not creative or imaginative, but I can think of a million ways to kiss you, a thousand different ways to make you laugh, a hundred ways to get you into bed.

Do you know how many shirts that are in my drawers that I can’t fit? Do you know how many random kitchen appliances are in my kitchen? Do you know the amount of shitty pop songs that are on my IPod playlists? Do you know how bad I want that sappy, domestic lifestyle that I dream about every night? (Much more than I would care to admit.) I feel like my heart is going to leap out of my fucking chest thinking about you in my apartment and I can see you. I can see you and me.

Do you know how much I want you?

You, Eric Bittle, who doesn’t give a shit about my last name, my dad, my mom, my anxiety, my ex ~~( well kinda my ex).~~ You just have so much love to give and you give it every fucking day and don’t ask for anything back. ~~And you’re single which doesn’t make any damn sense either~~

I’m trying to be logical about all out this. Shirts shrink in the washer, maybe I wanted to start cooking in my spare time, (no matter what I know you are responsible for Beyonce and Drake being on my IPod), maybe I’m just finally being confronted with my feeling for you and it’s too fucking late and my brain is trying to make shit up to make me feel better about my loneliness.

I wasted some much damn time trying- I’m not even sure what I was trying to do? Sabotaging my own happiness I guess.

I’m a fucking idiot eh?

I know you’ll never see this but _Mon Dieu ,_ I just need a day. Just one, take you somewhere private, (throw your phone away somewhere) ~~and make you forget any guy before me and make any guy after me inadequate~~  and convince you that every broken piece of me is worth it. Is worth loving.

 

Because I want to love you. Well not want- I already do. 

 

Love you I mean. 

                                                                                                                        JZ

 

 

* * *

 

**AZ: How’s Jack?**

**BBZ: I just went over to the house he was asleep**

**AZ: do you know if he ate?**

**BBZ: I’m not sure but he seems pretty out of it**

**BBZ: I’ll run by the store to get some things for him to snack on when he wakes up**

**AZ: Good**

**BBZ: Oh looks like he wrote a letter, maybe I should post it.**

**AZ: Who’s it to?**

**BBZ: it looks like Eric**

**AZ: I think you should ask him first**

**BBZ: Sure**

**AZ: Yes, that is exactly what you should do**

**AZ: he’s a grown man**

**AZ: You’ve already left with the letter haven’t you?**

**AZ: You are ridiculous**

**BBZ: J’taime.**

**AZ: You’re sleeping on the couch**

**BBZ: :(**

* * *

 

 

**JZ: Papa did you come over earlier?**

**JZ: I had some papers on my kitchen counter**

**JZ: DAD?**

**AZ: Your father is avoiding you**

**AZ: He mailed the letter**

**JZ: Ah CRISSE**

**AZ: language laurent**

**JZ: WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM**

**AZ: I was doing a punch up**

**AZ: and he’s ignoring my calls too**

**JZ: Oh my god**

**JZ: I have to move. Now.**

**AZ: I’m sure it’s not that bad**

**BBZ: Hey champ**

**JZ: Don’t hey champ me**

**AZ: Bob, Jack is upset**

**JZ: upset isn’t even close**

**BBZ: Just working the ol Zimmermann charm**

**AZ: I still don’t understand what that is**

**AZ: I have to go**

**AZ: jack try avoid killing your father you have a game Friday**

**JZ: no promises**

**JZ: I'm not playing anyway**

**BBZ: I’m just trying to help**

* * *

 

 

**EB: I got your letter**

**JZ: shit**

**JZ: I’m so sorry**

**JZ: Fuck I’m such a creeper**

**JZ: fuck**

**JZ: you never have to talk to me again my dad sent that I’m so sorry**

**EB: I’ll be in Providence tomorrow**

**JZ: What?**

**EB: I’m here to confirm that you have no 'memories of** **convenience'**

**EB: I’m very much real**

**EB: But I will be spending the weekend making some permanent memories with you Mr. Zimmermann**

 

* * *

 

 

**JZ: thanks dad?**

**JZ: I'm still slightly upset**

**JZ: but thanks**

**BBZ: I know I’m amazing**

**AZ: don’t let it get your head sweetheart**

**BBZ: I have what the kids call**

**BBZ: a strong pull game**

**AZ: This conversation is over**

**AZ: Goodnight everyone**

**JZ: Bonne nuit mama**

**BBZ: Goodnight y'all**

**JZ: PAPA!**

**BBZ: :)**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Next time on Return to Sender- Puck Bunnies, Pies and Panties.
> 
> Also- a punch up is when actors/directors get together and go over a script and 'punch it up' or make it better. It's pretty fun if the script is shitty. 
> 
> (all mistakes are mine, i need a beta, but i'll probably go back and fix them eventually) 
> 
> *Comments and Kudos are my life and blood*


End file.
